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How Long Should a Widow Wait to Date Again? 

My mother in law passed away suddenly in February. The experience has brought more questions than answers and situations I was not prepared to handle for myself and especially not with a two year old. One of them was my father in law dating.

A couple of weeks after her passing he started hinting around to my husband that he could not be single forever, he made sure to giggle like a school girl and use words like we when he would talk about his weekend plans and send Kurt pictures to make sure he was fully aware he was dating. I had never given much thought to the possibility that either of our parents would start dating again. Luckily he does not live locally so we had some time to prepare for it.
The day has finally come and he told Kurt he is coming with his girlfriend is coming with him to Bailey’s birthday party. They met on eHarmony, which he joined two months after his wife of 40+ years passing. I cannot imagine the grief that comes with losing your partner. It is a reality I don’t want to think about.

So now I have a little over 2 months to prepare to meet his girlfriend. I am left wondering how long should you wait to date after your spouse passes?
Would love your thoughts and any advice.

6 thoughts on “How Long Should a Widow Wait to Date Again? 

  1. I guess like grieving there is no amount of time that is right and what works for one person won’t for another.

    I am 37 and widowed (I met and fell in love with my husband at 17). We are fast approaching the 2 year mark (September) and I’m still stumbling along trying to figure out my role as an only parent to our now 10 and 13 year old daughters. I’ve not dated and nor have I even contemplated dating. I still very much feel married, I still wear my wedding band and I feel like it would be a betrayal to my husband. I’m not sure what time will pass before I feel differently and I guess this is why it is personal. Maybe one day still feeling the same way I’ll just throw caution to the wind!

    That said my sister has told me that it would be through no disrespect to her husband but she would have to find someone else straight away as she can’t bare to be alone. I also know a widower who in his late 60s started seeing someone almost immediately. I had been widowed 5 months myself when his wife passed and I was so saddened and conflicted when I found out he was seeing someone else. Yes none of my business, but I just couldn’t wrap my head around it (I guess much the way you are with your father in law).

    I guess we all have our own way of grieving and finding ways a way of coping. Perhaps this is his.

    1. Thank you so much for sharing your perspective. It is a great reminder that 1st we don’t know what we would do unless we were in the situation ourselves and that it is different for everyone. I cannot imagine what you go through as a single mom. I look forward to reading your blog.

  2. Great article, it’s something you don’t think about until something happens. I’d say it depends on the individual, the relationship they had previously and a lot depends on how they grieve.

    1. Thank you for your feedback. I feel like my role is to help him focus on the positives of his dad dating again. I know he wants his dad to be happy, but there are moments when he forgets his mom is really gone.

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